Worst Year Ever

Hey, 2009, don’t let the door hit you in the ass!!

Let’s be clear, 2009 was the worst year for most everyone you talked to. Financially, one truly disastrous year for just about everyone. The year started with the terrific news that the banks had lost all of our money… What? How could…the…banks…lose… But, I thought that's what…………vaults were for… Well, what should we do? Give the banks more money, of course. What? But…they might…….put it in the vaults…

Worst year ever.

You run into an old friend and asked, “Hey, how’s it going?” and they would answer, “There’s no money.”

People lost their cars, homes, jobs and in some cases, teeth.

Worst year ever.


For me, I’ve never worked so much for so little. It’s all relative, people. I realize there were hundreds of thousands of people who would have literally killed for the shit opportunities I took. But, seriously, if I’m not allowed to complain just a wee bit in my own blog, just what the hell kind of topsy-turvy, BIZARRO world is this?!

Not all was horrific during this awful year. There were, in fact, a couple of high notes in the Pollak world:

In late March of ’09, I started doing an online talk show called Kevin Pollak’s Chat Show. Other than a couple of weeks off, we've streamed live every Sunday at 5pm, PDT, from a little studio in Santa Monica.  If you’d like to watch live, starting up again January 10th, just go to Should you choose to watch live, you can ask questions via the site’s chat room or Twitter, @Kevinpollak.  There’s a link on the home page, where you’ll find all the past episodes archived, or you can download any episode from iTunes for free. At present, we’re redesigning the chat show’s website, and it’s going to be pretty cool with some interactive tricks created for a more enjoyable visit. Having said that, if you get there before the “new look” is up, you’ll find a most boring site, indeed.

The show is a Charlie Rose kind of deal, in that it’s just me and the guest(s) having an in depth, genuine conversation about how he or she "got from there to here". In some cases, “in depth” barely covers it. 2 hours with Seth MacFarlane, over 2 hours with Kevin Smith, and the longest, 2 hours and 31 minutes to be precise, was with the amazing Eddie Izzard. I assure you, there’s nothing like this show online, or in traditional media either. We’ve done about 36 shows thus far, featuring many great comedians, actors, actresses, a few internet stars, several film writer/directors, a couple cool musicians, an amazing Composer, 5 Academy Award winners and the CEO/Founder of Tesla Motors. Oh, and Weird Al, too!!

For you fans of my motion picture acting, in 2010 I can be seen co-starring in not one, not two, but three films. The first one, due out February 26th, is “Cop Out.” This buddy cop comedy is directed by Kevin Smith and stars Bruce Willis, Tracy Morgan, Seann William Scott, Adam Brody and myself. Next out is the Paramount Pictures release of “Middle Men,” written and directed by George Gallo and starring Luke Wilson, Giovanni Ribisi, Gabriel Macht, James Caan, Laura Ramsey, Kelsey Grammer and myself. Lastly, and without a release date, cause it’s still being edited, is “Columbus Circle,” which I co-wrote with the director, George Gallo. It stars Jason Lee, Selma Blair, Amy Smart, Giovanni Ribisi, Jason Antoon, Beau Bridges and again, myself.

Lastly, I've written a web series with pal and gifted writer/actor Jason Antoon, which will mark my directorial debut. We will shoot in early February. It's called "Vamped Out" and I'll be reporting more about it's launch date and how the shoot goes/went soon...

Otherwise, life is swell and we’re quite happy at home.

Hope you and yours have a happy holiday and a MUCH better 2010!!



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Reader Comments (1)

I have enjoyed your movies, you've been busy lately. I had a few ideas for movies starring Kevin Pollak that I would like to see.

The Bernie Maddof Story (docudrama)
Kevin as Bernie Maddof. Kevin has the cultural background and the excesses of his industry are obviously the same as in the banking community. Go visit Bernie, then play him, like Johnny Depp did George Jung in the movie Blow. Final scene: the real Bernie in his cell.

The Barney Made Off Story (satire)
If what BM did is too painful for the Jewish community, a parody. Tim Olyphant as Barney, the stereotypical greedy WOP villain banker-king who preys on Jews. Kevin (over)plays the moral and devout lawyer-rabbi who eventually takes him down, navigating tangled webs of impotent college bred WOP regulators being played by predatory racially stereotyped, over the top criminals & politicians racing to get the money and cover up their involvement. Give a nod to the alleged shady Aussie dealings of the veep; the president who still demands citizenship; and the president who despite his Harvard tattoo seems to have never studied Milton Friedman, or anything else - like the last Harvard persidint. I'd love to see Mel Brooks do something like this, or tribute to his style.

The Litigious (horror)
A well connected mensch lawyer played by Kevin defends an old investor friend against alleged financial fraud. This escalates with SEC charges & investigation. Everyone with their hand out - lawyers, judges, investigators, the schlep's business partners, ex wives, ex-business partners and kids, Kevin artfully dodges each escalating criminal charge and lawsuit on behalf of his client, shrewdly negotiating, until in the end Kevin ends up with 1/2 his former worth, having used the other half to pay off the lawyers, judges, investigators and politicians. The client is broke but does no time, free to steal again, only smarter.

The recurrent theme is all around us: "just do it and cover up later". IME you'll have no problem finding staggering true stories in the legal records to weave into the matrix of deception and exploitation for this movie. As the regulators dropped the ball for the last 50 years all this ends up in court and the lawyers have fed well, as often on each other as on their clients. Indite the lawyers.

Wholly rip off Hitchcock to make it a horror, make it suspenseful. I want the audience to leave feeling guilty as hell and that everyone is out to rob them, that they have to get home asap to make sure they can still get in the door.

Have fun at the circus!

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